Without any title

The hardest part in writing this blog post was to decide the topic of it. Having realized that it does not matters, I decided to keep it without any title. There has been a lot of upheaval in my head for about past fifteen years. I could sense one thing very early in my life, and that was: I am all that matters to me. I could see a grand meaninglessness in everything and anything around me. Now, when I have completed my graduation and I am having job, some new dimensions of understanding have come up from within.
Being a good observer of nature and surrounding, I could observe few things more closely and by the grace of God (who in my case is not a Hindu or a Muslim), I could write down some poems which I cherish as my children. There had been questions though, which were disturbing. The questions were mainly about what I was doing and why. Logic is what we run after all the time. The chase can be painful but the fulfillment of it is equally pleasant and rewarding. I ended up with Knowledge-Energy theory in my final year at college. The theory summarizes that there is one indestructible-knowledge and it is self existing. This knowledge personifies itself through energy. Energy has always some knowledge element associated with it. Energy brings about the existence of matter and the rest is well known Physics. But I left this theory with a conclusion that every perceivable or non-perceivable existing element of nature has its roots in some indestructible, uniformly constant, unchanging knowledge. I was happy to have realized there was after all some logic in my being here until recently when Stephen Hawkins came out with a conclusion that it’s all by chance. I was devastated to know something I always used to say, but deep down under believed that I might be wrong.
The idea that we are here by chance and it means nothing, is a dreadful thought. It implies that what you value and what you run after has no meaning because you yourself have no meaning. You are just on outcome of several random events which could have infinite many combinations of outcome. You are nothing but a walking piece of lump. The idea that there is no God and no one governing your being here, leaves you with three options. One, live for the rest of your life doing what your whim says. Two: free yourself from the man made pain that chokes your throat every now and then. Commit suicide as it does not makes any difference anywhere, even if you feel it does some where it’s actually your ignorance that makes you feel that way (a detailed discussion is out of the scope of the present topic, even though it’s without one). Three, create a God and live for Him. This is what the society has done.
Man realized, what Mr. Hawkins has realized in the 21st century, even when he was living in caves. Man knew that, the day logic behind his being will be removed, he would be left with no motivation of running after antelopes and dear in thorny jungles with bows and arrows to fulfill his hunger. The pain which man under goes while he spends his life on earth will in no way remain bearable without the concept of a God who is watching him and loves him.
Having read a lot of Physics during our pursuit of happiness, we read about various forces of nature that govern the motion of the heavenly bodies, sub atomic particles and also the day to day movements of vehicles etc. We learnt how some forces are conservative and some are not. We learnt so much and then forgot. My intension here is not making you revise all that you have already learnt. I want to put up a question here. If I am a part of nature then, what forces act on me? I will refine my question a little and add what “natural” forces act on me? A question might come up now, are there some forces which are “not natural”? Well, I do not think so. So, back to my first question which was as good as the refined one. I can think of few forces like Love, Hatred, Jealousy, Ego.
All that we do, all that we yearn for, all that we value are governed by the magnitude and direction of these forces. At some point in time all the forces must have added up to some magnitude and direction in me, which was such that I was forced to go for a particular competitive examination. I could undergo a hard daily routine and could concentrate all my energies in one direction for so long because the forces where aligned in one direction for a long time and thus I followed a particular path. At the very same time there were other boys and girls also who were under the influence of very similar forces from within and thus they too reached the same places where I did. So far, so good. With all these understandings, I can find logic in my being where I am. I am under the influence of natural forces (equally good will be to say just forces). Just like the earth goes round the Sun under the influence of Gravitational force, I am going after things and people and passion and poetry under the influence of forces that are acting upon me from within me.
The question is, are these forces self existing? If not is there a God somewhere, deciding the general nature of these forces. If yes, what is His motive? He has created a world out of His imagination and is continuing to make sure that His world goes on and on with people coming and going, questioning and believing, fighting and praying? What is forcing Him to make it all happen?
Let me go now, under the umbrella of Mathematics now, after spending some time with Physics. It is well known that we invented numbers and thus the number theory. We started with a basic knowledge of counting, and extended it with summation, multiplication, subtraction and division. We then saw that there were some numbers which were even and some odd. We realized that there were some numbers which were prime. Fermat gave a theorem without proof, and it remained so for two to three century until in 1991 Andrew Willis came up with a beautiful proof. Fermat’s Last Theorem, as it is well known, is very simple at first sight. But the proof to it involves elliptic curves and modular equations. The point is, how something who’s roots were so simple as numbers, can itself grow up to a boundary less space and go on and on all by itself. Mathematicians keep coming and going and it never ends. What is the driving force behind the growth of a subject?
If I go by my knowledge-energy theory, then the knowledge in the case of Mathematics was of that of numbers. Once it was introduced it started spreading like a plant. It kept growing and is still growing. The entropy grows.
My argument is, since man and his deeds are governed by the laws o nature, even when we think that few things are man-made, we are basically myopic. Since, man is a part of nature, all that he dreams and conceives is natural. All that we invent is natural. Nature personifies itself through us. Rock could have never made an aeroplane fly or an engine run. Nature needed man to do that for it. Brick for instance is man made, but it’s made of clay and it’s made because man thought that he could use it to make houses. The inception of a thought in man’s mind is natural and governed by natural forces. There is nothing like not natural.
The question which is unanswered till now is the motivation behind the urge of knowledge to personify itself again and again in different forms through differ objects.
An electron in the first orbit of an atom of Carbon has same knowledge as that of any other electron in the first orbit of any other atom of Carbon. We have to read many books and spend time to understand the subatomic Physics but the infinite number of electrons which are orbiting around infinite nucleuses of many elements, behave in the exact same manner and they can be assumed to be having the same universal knowledge embedded in them which they realize through the forces they experience. The same has to be true for living beings and us Human. The forces that govern our thinking and behavior need to be studied a little closely. We are the prism through which the light of knowledge passes it our nature that decides to what extent we are capable of defragmenting the rays of knowledge and show the world few colors of it, which were till then unknown and unseen.
After having fixated my understanding on such conviction, I feel no need to be assured whether there is some God or not. In know there is knowledge and I am submersed in it. I know that I have the potential to act as a prism and show the world different colors of nature (poetry being one of them so far). Meaning of life is in living it. Destroying it, won’t serve your purpose of freeing yourself, as there’s so escape from here. You will remain submersed in the same ocean of knowledge even after death, just that the forces will change. Be where you are and feel the lightness of being in the laps of nature. There is nothing like man-made and that which is disturbing you, is your ignorance- fight it. I attach utmost value to the universal knowledge and call it God. I am a believer in God and I believe that there’s nothing by chance. There are forces which act at the will of the knowledge associated with them. I was born because numerous forces perceived me years before I came to existence. I was needed by nature to personify it in a few more dimensions. The day nature will realize that it is done with its full personification and there remains to scope of addition to its dimensions, it will seize to grow. No creation of nature is without a purpose. Stephen Hawkins was perceived by nature so that the human race could know a little more about the Universe. Albert Einstein was brought to life, so that we could know E=mc^2.Your existence has a meaning search for it within. Find your love for a thing in life, and life for it. God is in you and heaven is in front of you. Pain is nothing to be afraid of, while trying to bring about colors from life, you will need to undergo changes which you will resist naturally. Believe in the idea grand project of nature of personifying itself and find yourself a place in this process.